Jan 29 : Matthew 7:13-26

Man this passage spoke to me so deep today. How many people will walk from one side of Heaven's gate to the other? When Jesus says, "and few will find it [Heaven]." Few as in how much Jesus? How narrow of a gate are you talking about? I think what Jesus meant by that was exactly what he said: narrow, few, small, tiny. Are you in that tiny bunch? I sure hope I am. And then Jesus starts talking about good and bad fruit; good and bad people. This is scary because I see a lot of bad fruit I have made. How can someone who is saved produce bad fruit. And there are times when I do believe I make good fruit. But it gets even scarier what Jesus says next, "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!" These people who were able to drive out demons, perform miracles, and even prophesy in the name of Jesus will not enter Heaven. I need to reevaluate my life. People who see me work at church may think of me as someone who is totally doing the work for God, but God may see a completely different motive. What I am doing for God may actually succeed even though I am not saved, giving the false impression that I am saved. In the end will Jesus recognize me? What does he think of me now. I need to establish a personal and intimate relationship with my Lord.

jan 28 : matthew 7:1-12

Ask, Seek, Knock.
There have been many times where I have made a request to God but get a reject message. I should go back and think, what have I asked for that made God not want to give it to me? I wanted so badly that new ninja turtle toy, a dreamcast, that girl, but God said "no". There are other times like, "God please don't let me fail", "Please take away my sadness", "Please don't let her die." And God turned those down too. More often than not God answered my prayers, in big and not-so-big ways. But to all those things he's turned down God taught me something, if he has not, he has not - yet. In this passage we see that God loves us enough that he will give us what we need when we need it. If a man can give his son a loaf of bread instead of piece of poisonous mushroom for food God in the same way, and even a lot better, will give you what you need - maybe not want. Need and want are different. Jesus tells us here, "don't worry about what you think you do or don't have, know that God will give you what you need." That is awesome. How many times have we worried about such stupid things. Lets cast our burdens, worries, sorries, wants, needs to our God.

jan 27 : Matthew 6:19-34

Do not worry, be happy!
How many times have we heard from our pastors, our Christian brothers and sisters, and parents, "do not worry."? Many times right? How many times have you told it? I've told it many times. I realize that worrying is a part of human life, just differing in magnitude between people. I love how Jesus talks about the lilies of the field or the birds of the air and how he takes care of each one. He tells us that we are so much more important than either of the two. Currently I am really worried about a therapeutics exam that is coming up the Monday after our retreat. I have heard horror stories about this exam, and people having to retake a year because of this class. I have been worrying a lot about it. But you know, every year I get through it. I am not saying that I am smart, but that I usually get the job done, maybe not perfect, but I still get the job done. After its done I realize that I had an irrational fear. I know that God is giving me strength and brain power to do what I need to do. I believe God is going to use me and I believe God loves me. Seeing that lady bugs wear a nice polka dot suit, I too will be given something beautiful. =] But its not gonna come easy because we still gotta try right? Bless everyone =]

jan 26: matthew 6:1-18

Hello.
Do we as Christians live for rewards? I think a modest Christian would be quick to answer, "no." I believe we do most of our acts - good acts - to please God, but at the same time store up treasures in Heaven. In this passage it tells you not to pray in front of people for the sake of recognition. Do not fast with a somber face, but when fasting dress well and look well so nobody knows. When you give to the needy, don't do it in front of people, but do it in secret. Its hard sometimes when you do something "nice" or "good" to keep it to yourself. Sometimes you really want to share it with the people around you right? I do. But this tells us not to do that. I think within reason its ok to tell people what you are doing. If you are doing it to help motivate someone I think its good. When you are doing a quiet time because you don't want to write a hundred times "I will write my blogs" for everyday of the week you miss, its bad. I hope I can learn to be better about doing things for
God and not for others. To not be afraid of my sins being exposed to people, but that God already knows. Bless you guys.

Jan 25 : Matthew 5:17-48

Sup
In the Bible study my small group covered on Friday I posed the question, "why do we even try to accomplish the goals given in these [beatitudes] if we are not able to be 100% successful?" And that was a response to the first 12 verses. If you read on it gets harder and harder. To love your neighbor enough that when he strikes you don't get mad and you let him do it again. To not look at a woman lustfully ever! To only divorce when she/he is unfaithful to you - and only that. Make sure your yes's are yes's and your no's no's. And then we get the commission of being the agent responsible to keep the world pure. This is such a hard topic to go over in Bible study. I need to have the faith to be able to lead this topic. I need prayer. I love the beatitudes because of how straight forward it is you know? It's simple, yet profound. I just really hope that I can follow the rules given by Jesus to the best of my abilities...

jan 22 : matthew 5

Hello.
Today I covered something i have covered before within the past month. Our small group is having our bible study on this topic so I decided to read from here. I find this chapter to be an amazing chapter because it carries very simple messages yet is extremely difficult to follow. Blessed are the poor in spirit. Blessed are those who mourn. The meek. Those who hunger and thirst for righteousness. The merciful. The pure in heart. The peacemakers. The persecuted. He blesses all of these type of people. This is what I need so desperately. I need to be able to hunger and thirst for righteousness. When is the last time I can say I sincerely hungered and thirsted for something so righteous I searched with all my heart and devotion? When is the last time I tried to remain pure in heart so I can see God? I questioned myself a lot while reading this chapter. Do I have what it takes? Can I really achieve these things? Do I have enough will power? I believe I want to see these things happen. I really do. But my laziness gets the best of me at times. I hope and pray I can find the will to search and act in the most sincerest longing for God.

Jan 20 : Heb 5-6

Hello. Are you mature? You may think you are mature now because you are now in college, you are in a serious relationship, you are hairier, you are smarter, and you can vote. But are you mature in Christ? Am I mature in Christ? To that question I have an answer so simple and true, "NO!" I am not mature in Christ. I realize day after day I have much maturing to do. In these two chapters I realize the amount of growing I need to accomplish. My body elongating, widening, aging, hairying is not an accomplishment, its a nature process of our bodies - these are not accomplishments. The kind of growing I am talking is about accomplishments. To grow spiritually we need to "leave the elementary teachings about Christ and go on to maturity..." How true is that!? And it further goes on to say, "...not laying again the foundation of repentance from acts that lead to death, and to faith in God." For how long have I been feeding on baby food. I want this year to be the year I feel the satisfaction of graduating from Gerbers to Captain Gyros. I want to move from Kia to Hyundai, from catepillar to butterfly, from Zerg to Protoss. But you know what, "solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. " Can you declare this as your goal? I sure can.

jan 16 : ephesians 5

Be imitators of God.
Paul gives us an extensive list of things we should not do. To my dismay many of these "don'ts" are things I struggle with. I am not ashamed to write on my blog what I struggle with because Christ exposes all impure things. Sexual immorality is such a huge sin in the Bible. The first part of verse three says this: "among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality." I don't know when or if I will grow out of this sin, but this sin is hard for me. And when you think you are able to control MOST of it it says, "there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or any kind of impurity, or of greed." There are many impurities in my life. I believe as believers in Christ we need to expose ourselves to each other to be able to grow. Another troubling list Paul writes is, "nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place.." Man. I joke so much. This is such a hard part for me to control. Joking to me is so fun, with guys I believe thats how we get closer to each other. To be a leader in a church I need to have better control over my desires and wants. We need to be sound in our doctrine to be able to teach others, but moreso we need to live what is written in scripture. I hope I can better control this. If you're reading this please pray a quick prayer for me to listen to this passage. Thanks =]

jan 14 : Heb 5

I want steak! The latter part of this passage deals maturity. Christian maturity is so difficult to see because unlike physical maturity it is not measurable with simple standards. Over my years in college I have noticed that there have been times of spiritual birth and spiritual death. These periods of time have been so close together relative to time that it confuses the heck out of me. I believe that my faith in Jesus Christ and God is not so "solid" as I had at times imagined. In Hebrews 5 we see that Paul states that some of us need to go back to the basics, that we need once again milk. That our foundation is not yet stable to handle the anger of life storms. I believe he is saying here, "you are not yet sufficiently equipped to be leading others. You need to figure out how to lead yourself." I can see myself fall into this category. Its hard leading a small group. Being a leader sets you up for a perception of holiness. But that simply is not the case. It is about how mature you really are. I want to say I am ready for solid food, but a part of me says to slow down. I hope that I can eat solid food to help feed others, and I hope this also for our fellow leaders at Cornerstone.

jan 13 : ephesians 4

What a beautiful day it is today! I was thinking to myself and asking, do i know what it feels like to be darkened in understanding and to be separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in me due to the hardening of my heart? Its scary thinking of being in that kind of state. Right now I feel pretty stiff. I feel that my desire for the greater life promised by God is out of sight and out of reach. Sometimes I find myself stuck in the underbelly of secular living.
I am looking for a sort of revival in me that comes only by indulgence in the Spirit. In verse 21 Paul says that "you were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." Its difficult sometimes when you feel like you are at the pinnacle of the joy of freedom from the world and at the blink of an eye you find yourself reverting back to the old self. I can't emphasize enough that we, I, need to be grounded in the Truth. We cannot find our faith in the pastor, the fellowship, absent minded reading scripture or prayer, but we can find it only in Christ Jesus who allows us to see the Father. This is a difficult concept for me to understand fully yet because I have been raised in the Christian lifestyle, at times unable to separate my faith from others' faiths. I need to be steadfast in my search and walk in Christ; His way.

jan 12 : ephesians 3

Hello everybody! I hope all of you had a wonderful first day back. I personally thought it was really boring, and I am not really looking forward to all the lectures and exams. haha. Oh well. Well I wanted to read from ephesians today, and so i did. The last part of this chapter was touching to me. It talks about a special kind of unity in the church. A kind of unity that allows us to see each other as children of God brought together by a unique force called love. This force is only found within the Christian body. Paul says, "and I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ." Isn't that beautiful? I think it would be awesome to feel fully the kind of love Paul is talking about. A love that allows us to see God for who he really is. I think there is a lot to fix in me, the people of the church, and the church itself. There are many approaches to fixing them, some right and some wrong, but if we approach all things with love we can fix all things! Approaching someone we dislike and showing love, talking to somebody not out of obligation but love, praying for a meal with love, or even scorning with love can all fix the problem. And through all this we can see how tall and strong Christ really is.
=

jan 7 : matthew 6

Hello yall. Sorry I didn't post yesterday. I am in Maryland with Misol and her family...awkward. The internet is a hit or miss here, but I'm on now! I want to focus on the first two sections of this passage. The theme seems to be: "do not do things for recognition from people, but from God." How foolish it is when we try to gain rewards from men for doing something noble. Yet I still do it. There were many times in the past semester where I do things for the sake of recognition. Sometimes its so subtle that I do not even realize I am doing it until I do it or while I am doing it. Even with prayer meetings. There have been many Wednesday nights where I was either too tired, busy, or forgetful for prayer meetings. Yet when I got myself to go I realized I was going for people more than my desire to be with God. How foolish. I do not know if God will listen to those prayers. Maybe he will...for trying...but maybe not at all. Also when I help people out I should not desire to recieved anything in return. The scripture here tells us to not let our right hand know what our left hand is doing. When we do community service, do not make many claims of the fact that you were there. When we did Winterization I realized that many were there partly because they said they would be there off of a whim. Afterwards I was discouraged to find myself and others kind of blaming others for not being there. I do need to be more discreet with my spiritual life, also keeping in mind the things I need to keep open for other believers and non believers. =]

jan 5 : Matthew 5

Hey guys I wanted to continue this chapter from yesterday. In the latter part of this chapter I find an extremely difficult command that we are to abide by: love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. Honestly, for those I truly truly dislike it seems almost impossible to love them. I can hardly stand to hang out with them. You know what I'm talking about? I hate to say it, but I have a couple people I do not like to be around. I sometimes try, but most times don't. I know I have to fix this. Jesus makes a good point when he says that God allows the sun to shine (which is good :]) on those who obey him and also on those who don't. He also gives generously, to both saved and unsaved, the blessings afforded to us through rain. This tells me: don't show favoritism! Because dude A is my friend I hope the best for him, but dude B whom I dislike I should also hope for him good fortune. Not to say that everything that is pleasant for dude B is "good". Yeah, I know it is true. God loves everybody. In the final part of this bit Jesus says to us, "be perfect for God is perfect." Wow. Perfect is so not me. What great tasks I have yet to accomplish! I want to be set apart from non-believers in how I treat those I dislike. God bless!

jan 3 : matthew 5

Hello. Its been tough thinking about being a small group leader. Its difficult to be a leader. Reading scripture I find that we will be judged harder. I know I am not a pastor, a deacon, or a teacher, but I still feel immensely responsible for the direction of the small group. I know I cannot adhere completely to the ways of an ideal Christian - I try and fail, but still I try. Jesus says, "Anyone who breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven." I must try my very best to practice what we study in Bible study. I constantly tell my small group members what is right and wrong. I pinpoint single sins. I tell them not to think like this or that. But I find myself doing what I "preach" against. I do not want to be called the least in the kingdom of heaven. That would suck. The sermon on the mount gives us direction to being a healthy follower of Christ which ultimately ends in heaven. Its my decision, whether people know it or not, to follow. This is kind of where I want my small group to be. I would like to have a bible study on this. =]

jan 2 : timothy 4

I just read a story in my devotional and it hit me hard. The passage I focused on today was from 2timothy - and the story in my devotional relates to this passage. There was a woman with a child who boarded a train one fearful night. A blizzard had just arrived in the area. The mother had a destination but did not know where to get off, the mother was frantically pacing back and forth. An old man noticed her and knew she needed assistance, so he offered a helping hand. Having known the schedule of the stops he told her he would alert her when her stop rolled around. She was thankful. The gentleman knew this next one was her stop. Once the train stopped he helped her and her child off of the train. The train was off on its normal route again. The train stops again, but to the gentleman's astonishment the train has stopped where the woman had originally desired to be. The gentleman asks the conductor, "why this is not the stop, it can't be! The last stop was..." The conductor tells him that because of the blizzard the train needed to make an extra stop to make sure the engine was working properly. The man frantically went in search for the woman and child. After a long search the woman and child were found frozen to death.
The man sincerely wanted to help, but his mistake cost the woman and child their lives. In 2 Timothy we read, ""For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear."
I hope I can be honest to myself and friends of the knowledge I have of scripture, and work to build upon it sound doctrine.

jan 1 - john 12

Hello everybody. I just got back from chicago and indy. I am finally in the comfort of my own home after about a week and a half =] Its been bad on my blogging though, I'm sorry for that =[ Well I read from john 12. I always find this passage interesting. And I always ask myself the question, "am I willing to give up something so valuable where people will start talking about it?" Thats hard you know, to give up something you really value. In the case with the woman who annointed Jesus with perfume, scholars say that the monetary value of the perfume was equivalent to a years wage. To me a years wage is not that much considering I am a student still. However when I start working giving up a years wages may be more difficult to give up. I can't imagine using a years wages on washing Jesus' feet. I hardly give my free time to Jesus, how can I even think I can give a years salary? With my small group I can start to give more of me. I should be able to give my small group free things here and there. I should be able to give out free prayers for them. I should be able to sacrifice time for them. I think I am like Judas sometimes when I think that its not worth giving Jesus my time and money for his name sake. Tonight I will pray for a heart like this woman. =]